I was just showing my dad on FaceTime some new backgrounds I was making with acrylic inks, and his response was, “Wow!” When we finished our conversation, he said, “Those acrylics you’re using,..they’re really bright.”

I said, “I know,” but after I hung up, I thought to myself, “Not bright enough…”

Whatever colors I end up with, they stand out. They wake you up.

I’ve experimented with pastels and muted earth tones, but they never feel right. In the end, they get drowned out with vibrant rainbow hues.

Today, I found myself trying to make my bright backgrounds even lighter and brighter, using paper towels to pat out any browns pooling warm and cool shades running together.

If you wonder, like my dad probably does, why I use such bright colors, it comes from being prone to depression.

When I’m feeling depressed, I seek out color like it’s oxygen.

Bright colors are stimulating, and I can almost feel my synapses `firing in my brain when I see vibrant hydrangeas, sunflowers, or poppies on my walks. I guess I’m a color junkie, but I suppose it’s better than my chocolate addiction.

I always knew I liked bright colors, but it wasn’t until I watched a video by and of Jim Carrey, called, “I Needed Color” that I realized why.

He was talking about walking around New York City, feeling depressed, and needing color, so he started to paint. His vibrant pieces on huge canvasses remind me of colorful graffiti that brightens up a dark alleyway.

I could really relate when he said about his paintings, “You can tell my inner life by the darkness in some of them, and you can tell what I want from the brightness of some of them.”

For me, it usually doesn’t work to paint the darkness.

I want to paint what I want more of—brightness.

But the truth is…sometimes life feels like it’s throwing everything but the kitchen sink at us.

And that’s when bright doesn’t feel quite bright enough.

The state of the world troubled me long before the pandemic, but it’s made things feel a lot harder.

Not being able to get out and go places, connect with others, and see new things has made it even more stressful for someone who sometimes struggles with depression already.

Learning to live (and thrive) with depression is what motivated me to become a therapist, and it made me a very effective one. My greatest gift was being able to go to the darkest of places with clients and help guide them out into the light again. There isn’t a dark place that scares me.

But I realized over time that I needed to balance that work with joy and light.

That’s what led me to integrate art and color into therapy, and it made a huge difference in my clients’ outcomes.

Two books I used a lot with clients were written by one of my favorite watercolor artists, Jean Haines from the UK.

One is called Paint Yourself Calm, which contains lots of cool exercises that increase mindfulness and calm anxiety.

Jean writes, “Everyone can escape from stressful life situations to find inner peace, simply by playing with colour.”

That’s why when I get anxious and crave soothing blues and greens, I paint a dreamy ocean scene.

Her other book I used with clients is Paint Yourself Positive.

Jean writes, “The effect that color has on us is simply astonishing. Depending on the shade we opt for; and whether we wear it, surround ourself with it at home, or use it to create with, colour can cheer us, or quieten us. “

She talks about painting with vibrant glowing shades like bright red to feel more positive and handle life’s challenges.

This book, like the other, is filled with great watercolor exercises. You don’t have to be a watercolor artist, or an artist at all, for that matter, to benefit from this book.

You also don’t have to be depressed or anxious to benefit from creativity and color.

There have been countless studies on the effect colors have on emotions and moods. Hospitals, prisons, and schools have been painted certain colors to have a calming or stimulating effect.

But color isn’t just a luxury item.

Humans developed color vision to help us survive. Like many other animals, we’ve used color to find food and potential mates, and identify predators or other threats.

Using color in a creative endeavor can enhance a state of wellbeing for all of us.

I know now that if I keep painting, keep drawing, keep creating, I will be okay. It’s when I shut down, go deep inside of myself and swirl around in negative thoughts that I start to spiral into depression.

When we use our bodies and our minds to work through painful emotions, we can find that they don’t last forever, but rather that they are fluid and always shifting, if we let them.

I don’t mean to imply that playing with color is our only way of feeling better when we’re down. And thank goodness.

People with visual disabilities or who are colorblind, like my husband, need joy too.

There are tons of ways to produce joy, and painting with bright colors is just one way I’ve found that works for me.

Right now, the world is chaotic and lonely and we’re trying to find a way out of a pandemic.

It can be challenging to find something at home that works besides eating a box of cookies, refilling our wine glass, or binge watching reality shows.